55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work


^ 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS
Return to T.O.C.

The scenarios and games that Marc continually arranged and then always denied having crafted (mostly around music, in my own experience) became ever 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work more obvious and tiresome. Marc considered himself a master of manipulation toward helping a member separate Self from self, attention from emotion. Sometimes his efforts were just plain funny, which is not to 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work say I didn’t appreciate that he was trying as best he knew how. However, he always seemed to enjoy his machinations rather a lot, and never once did he cop to 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work having set anything up!

 
Game 1:
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At one seven-day Work Period, by the fifth day not a single newer musician had been asked to play during the regular presentation 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work of music at the end of each day. The senior (non-musician) members-in-charge of the Work Period, under Marc and Belle’s guidance, took note. After first enquiring of 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work us newer musician whether we knew why we were not playing (we did not know), they finally asked the “experienced” musicians to grant us that privilege.


Then, in typical fashion, Marc jumped in 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work, likely having orchestrated the whole thing. On an hour’s notice he and Belle auditioned us newer musicians at a command performance. Two or three senior (non-musician) members 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work-in-charge also attended. The “experienced” music team members were there, too, but they did not play.


Later that day, we newer musicians were officially presented to the Membership, who for many 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work months had already heard our playing from time to time. An ad hoc recital was scheduled for that very afternoon, interrupting the plans and normal functioning of all the other work teams. After 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work the recital Marc claimed repeatedly to us still-confused newer musicians, “I had nothing to do with keeping you from playing earlier this week, but if I had, things couldn’t 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work have turned out better.”


In fact, none of the three of us ‘newer’ musicians really believed him, even after he cranked up his charisma full force for a little while, and then departed. “But how 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work did the whole thing make you feel?” asked my musical mentor, the professional musician, who had apparently obtained a degree of awakening. “Cheaply manipulated, imperfectly duped, and a little 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work disgusted,” I replied. Of course, Self did watch self as that was being said.
Game 2:
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A minute or two before the beginning of a Movements class, I sat 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work down at the front of the hall next to Marc, near the piano. We awaited the arrival of the same professional musician-member, who was both my mentor in Movements accompanying 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work and the principal pianist for that class. Atypically, he was not yet at the piano.


Marc greeted me pleasantly. “How are you,” he asked. “How can I answer?” I smiled. “I don’t even 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work know who I am.” This was the standard sort of greeting between us at the time, and a congenial one. 

 

Immediately after I sat down, Marc turned toward me, and said, “You 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work don’t get to play nearly as often as you should. It would be good for you to get to play more often, don’t you think?" “Well, perhaps,” I replied vaguely 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work. The warning bells were already faintly sounding. “I wonder where he [my pianist-mentor] is,” mused Marc, aloud. “He should be here by now. You should probably get ready to 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work play.”

 

Twenty seconds before the class actually started, my mentor entered the Movements Hall. Atypically, he passed by us both without any greeting, without even looking at us, proceeding directly to the 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work piano. He sat down and played for the entire hour-long class, never once turning, during the pauses, to confer with me about which accompaniments I might play, as was his usual 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work custom.

 

Marc remained seated next to me for the duration of the class. As the hour progressed, it became clear that the earlier faint Marc-alarm had rung true. I was being manipulated 'for 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work my own good.' I pretended not to notice. As was my custom, I followed my breath and sensed my body while observing the class. Admittedly, I was more continuously present than usual as 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work I watched Marc, my mentor, the class and myself with interest to see what might, or might not, unfold. 

 

After the class ended, I purposely remained seated next to Marc and 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work engaged him in some polite small talk, pretending I’d not noticed anything out of the ordinary. Marc joined in pleasantly enough. As our conversation continued, my mentor got up from 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work the piano and passed by us silently. He looked at us without smiling, appearing hesitant and ill at ease. I felt a little guilty that I had enjoyed the game and 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work had even benefited from it by becoming a little more present for its duration, while my mentor—a tremendously sincere and sensitive soul and a superb musician conscripted by Marc for a cheap charade 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work—appeared uncomfortable.

 

A week later, I mentioned off-handedly to Marc that I had enjoyed being a protagonist in his little morality play about identified piano playing. “Pardon me?” responded 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work Marc. “You know, last Tuesday when you directed your ad hoc production around my role as a beginning Movements accompanist.” Marc continued to play dumb. “Specifically," I began, ...and recounted to Marc 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work an outline of the events as above.

 

Trapped, Marc assumed the expression of a small child caught with his хэнд in the cookie jar, holding his head down a little, with a 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work guilty smile. “Maybe so and maybe not; I’m not saying. If you ask me, I won’t tell you.” So juvenile, and so typical of Marc. Why not ‘fess up, and then productively 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work review what was done, why it was done, and how to work with it? That is how Gurdjieff worked on identification at the Prieuré.

 

It took me several months on the 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work music team to figure out that Marc's devious machinations were meant to elicit an emotional reaction from me and/or other less “experienced” musicians, toward separation of Self from self. At first I 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work just couldn’t figure out what craziness he and the senior musicians were up to, in part because genuine selfishness on the part of the senior musicians was also in 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work the picture. But soon the machinations became so plain that my only reaction would be to note that Marc was at it again. For some reason, the “experienced” musicians seemed not to require 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work Marc’s emotional stimulation in such a manner, at least in his estimation.

 

A week before Marc booted me out of Calmswan, I calmly and quietly told him exactly all of this. I 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work told him that in my experience he often misperceived situations and acted within them from personality, making incorrect judgments, and setting up his little games for less than the purest 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work of reasons, enjoying them way too much. He was not pleased.

So it went with Marc’s machinations at Calmswan, which always he denied, often incorporating the “…if I had” phrase, or, “If I 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work knew, I wouldn’t tell you.” His little productions were intended to force stronger self-observation through purposely manufactured or purposely enhanced interpersonal conflict involving unfairness. The intent was to force 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work an emotionally exasperated separation of the Observer from the experience, leading to some glimmer of recognition of the truth of who “I” really am (at least for now), as an observer.


Once 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work you had figured out Marc’s modus operandi, you could see it coming a country mile away, and it was more amusing than effectual. But I never understood Marc's rationale 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work for his stonewalling after each little game he had set up. Gurdjieff one afternoon unfairly insulted his musician-follower, Thomas de Hartmann, calling him “balda” (“dull,” or “stupid”). That evening, Gurdjieff 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work said, “So, Thoma, today you got something.” Then ensued conversation about emotion and self-observation. The game and its results were to be productively reviewed together, rather than flatly denied by the instigator 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work.*


In stark contrast, Marc just mounted his manipulative little dramas and then always pretended he hadn’t. As I watched him operate this way again and again, I began to sense that he took 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work rather a lot of personal pleasure in his machinations. He showed the same sort of glee when, near the end of our association, he sidled up to me in private 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work conversation and claimed, sotto voce, to be hypnotizing the Membership en masse during Sunday morning sittings. Walter Mitty strikes again.


Actually, I do think many long-term members had become charismatized, if not 55. MARC’S MUSICAL MACHINATIONS - One person’s experience in the gurdjieff work hypnotized.

__________________________________________

* Thomas and Olga de Hartmann, “Our Life with Mr. Gurdjieff”


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